{"id":952,"date":"2012-10-15T07:50:01","date_gmt":"2012-10-15T07:50:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.better2know.co.uk\/?p=952"},"modified":"2024-02-23T12:22:25","modified_gmt":"2024-02-23T12:22:25","slug":"if-i-could-would-i-go-back-in-time-and-change-my-genital-herpes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/if-i-could-would-i-go-back-in-time-and-change-my-genital-herpes\/","title":{"rendered":"If I could, would I go back and change my Genital Herpes?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If I responded to this question with anything other than, of course I\u2019d choose not to have genital herpes, you would think I\u2019m lying. Not only would that response sound contrived, you\u2019d stop reading and move along to a post that is actually realistic. However, I must warn you, there\u2019s a huge BUT to my answer. You had to know that was coming, right? The deal is, if I could change only one thing about my past, genital herpes wouldn\u2019t be my choice. If I could go back and change a couple things and take away my genital herpes, I\u2019d do that too, because it\u2019s a nuisance. However, I\u2019d only take back having genital herpes if it didn\u2019t erase all of the positive things that have come about as a result of having it. That is why I have to carefully answer a question like that, because answering requires a more detailed explanation than a simple yes or no affords.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

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Specifically, if I could take back anything I\u2019ve done knowing that the related experiences would also change, I would actually take back something entirely different. I\u2019ve lived with genital herpes for 14 years. In that time, I\u2019ve learned how to have effective conversations with potential partners, I\u2019ve learned that my STD does not define me, I\u2019ve gained strength and open-mindedness, I\u2019ve learned how to choose trustworthy friendships and prosperous relationships, and I\u2019ve become an advocate for those living with an STD and all people who have experienced adversity. Those lessons came with a lot \u2013 A LOT \u2013 of trial and error \u2013 emphasis on the error as well and were all a result of contracting herpes. Consequently, removing my herpes would make me a much less interesting individual and I\u2019d be afraid that I\u2019d still be the incredibly shallow and na\u00efve person I once was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The one thing I know I would change, however, comes as a direct result of how I handled myself once I contracted genital herpes. For example, I wasn\u2019t always forthcoming with my partners when I should have been. There were a couple of people I engaged in sexual activities with that I did not tell I had an STD right away. If I could go back in time and let them know before putting them at risk, I would. I\u2019m not certain whether they actually contracted genital herpes or not, but knowing I was irresponsible with my actions is something I will always carry with me. I\u2019ve since forgiven myself, but forgiveness does not take away the knowledge that I may have greatly impacted someone\u2019s life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While taking away my genital herpes would also have alleviated those issues, I don\u2019t think I would have learned sexual health responsibility without having herpes myself. Even though I previously used condoms with sexual partners, I did not have the conversations I needed to have about STI testing, number of partners, exclusivity, etc. Being completely responsible with one\u2019s sexual health entails having those awkward conversations before engaging in sexual activities, trying to limit number of partners, encouraging a monogamous relationship, using protection correctly and consistently, and also getting tested regularly. I learned all of that AFTER contracting herpes. I was sure using condoms and being on birth control was all I needed. Because herpes (both kinds) are transferred via skin-to-skin contact, condoms don\u2019t always do the trick. Obviously, I learned that the hard way. J<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The deal is, having herpes is not always delightful \u2013 that\u2019s kind of a no-brainer. But I have managed to take what some find a debilitating and greatly limiting condition and turn it into something incredibly positive. The empowerment I\u2019ve experienced in being honest with partners now, sharing my story with others, and growing through all of it is something I couldn\u2019t possibly wish to replace. Some of the initial stigma I even thought was true about myself has been negated by my successes elsewhere and the things I\u2019ve accomplished despite having contracted a very taboo infection. I\u2019d love to change some of my reckless behavior, and if I could keep all of the marvelous things I\u2019ve learned and the self-assurance I now have, sure, I\u2019d also get rid of the stupid blisters I deal with every few months. Otherwise, I\u2019ll keep my herpes and all the good things too. Either way, it\u2019s actually been much more of a positive experience than anyone would ever imagine and I think the stigma surrounding STDs, in general, is just a bit of hype and fear. No one wants a bodily issue that requires extra care, but at the end of the day, that\u2019s all it really is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jenelle Marie is the administrator of The STD Project (www.thestdproject.com<\/a>) – an award-winning independent website geared toward removing the stigma associated with contracting an STD and living with an STD by encouraging education through story-telling and resource recommendations. You can also find The STD Project on Facebook and Twitter.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I responded to this question with anything other than, of course I\u2019d choose not to have genital herpes, you would think I\u2019m lying. Not only would that response sound contrived, you\u2019d stop reading and move along to a post that is actually realistic. However, I must warn you, there\u2019s a huge BUT to my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"yst_prominent_words":[1086,1081,1077,1080,1087,746,1076,1085,820,755,1084,1078,1079,774,795,570,1082,563,807,1083],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=952"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7998,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions\/7998"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=952"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.better2know.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/yst_prominent_words?post=952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}