First time sex: a guide to staying safe

Sex can be scary when you’re doing it for the first time. There are so many things you have to think about. What will it feel like? How will it affect your relationship with your partner? What if you don’t like it, or like it too much?

All these thoughts are completely normal. Most people get a bit worried about their first time. It’s OK to be a little bit excited, a little bit scared.

The best way to be able to enjoy your big moment is to be prepared. And there are some things you may have to prepare for.

At Better2Know, we want you to enjoy your first time while helping to keep you safe from any unwanted outcomes. That means talking about things like unwanted pregnancies and STIs.

STIs are especially important to understand. With over 376 million people contracting Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis or Trichomonas annually, it is essential to protect your health and understand what you may be at risk of during your first time.

Let’s get into it.

First time sex can be scary. Protect yourself and your sexual health with Better2Know.

Get tested

Remember: don’t have sex if you don’t want to

The idea of having sex for the first time can be very exciting for a lot of people. It can be easy to get swept up in the moment.

Before you continue, ask yourself a few questions:

Do I like this person? Social pressure can be a powerful force. It can make us forget how we feel about certain things.
Do I feel safe having sex with this person? First and foremost, it’s important to feel confident that the person you’re having sex with is someone you feel safe feeling vulnerable with.
Am I doing this because I want to, or because they want to? Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to have sex in order to satisfy someone else.
Am I ready? Sometimes, you’re just not ready, and that’s OK.

If you’re not satisfied with your answers to these questions, you may want to take some time to decide if this is a good choice for you.

But if you feel ready to go, great!

Here are some things you’ll want to know.

You probably want to use contraception

Unless you’re planning to have a child, you should use contraception to lower the likelihood of unwanted pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) during penetrative sex.

Condoms

One of the simplest and most effective tools in your sexual health toolkit? The condom.

Condoms are thin sheaths—usually made of latex, polyurethane, or polyisoprene—that cover the penis during sex. They act as a barrier, preventing semen from entering the vagina, mouth, or anus. This barrier is what makes condoms so effective at reducing the risk of both unwanted pregnancies and STIs.

When you’re having sex for the first time, it’s likely that neither partner has been exposed to many STIs. That’s great—but it also means you want to keep it that way. Condoms help by blocking the transmission of STIs. They also prevent pregnancy by stopping sperm from reaching the egg. On top of that, knowing you’re protected can help reduce anxiety, making the experience more relaxed and confident for both partners.

When used correctly every time, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy. They are also highly effective at reducing the risk of most STIs, especially those spread through bodily fluids. While no method is perfect, combining condoms with other forms of contraception—like the pill or implant—can offer even greater protection and peace of mind.

Birth control pill

The birth control pill is a daily medication that contains hormones—usually a combination of estrogen and progestogen, or just progestogen alone. These hormones work by preventing ovulation, which means your body doesn’t release an egg each month. Without an egg, sperm has nothing to fertilise, so pregnancy can’t occur. The pill also thickens cervical mucus, making it harder for sperm to reach the uterus, and thins the lining of the womb, which helps prevent implantation.

For those having sex for the first time, the pill offers a high level of protection against pregnancy when taken correctly. It can also help regulate periods, reduce menstrual cramps, and improve acne for some people.

However, it’s important to remember that the pill does not protect against STIs. That’s why many people choose to use condoms alongside the pill—this combination offers both pregnancy prevention and STI protection, giving you peace of mind.

When taken consistently and correctly—meaning one pill every day at around the same time—the birth control pill is over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy. In real-world use, where people sometimes forget a dose or take it late, its effectiveness drops slightly to around 91%.

Setting a daily reminder or using a pill-tracking app can help you stay on schedule and maintain its full protective benefits.

Other forms of birth control

In addition to condoms and the birth control pill, there is a wide variety of alternative contraception methods for women, including:

Contraceptive injection: A hormone shot given every 8–13 weeks that prevents ovulation and protects against pregnancy.
Contraceptive implant: A small, flexible rod placed under the skin of your arm that releases hormones to stop pregnancy for up to three years.
Contraceptive patch: A sticky patch worn on the skin that releases hormones through your skin to prevent pregnancy, changed weekly.
IUD (intrauterine device or coil): A small, T-shaped device made of plastic and copper placed in the uterus that prevents pregnancy for 5 to 10 years.
IUS (intrauterine system or hormonal coil): A hormone-releasing device placed in the uterus that prevents pregnancy and can reduce heavy periods.
Female condom: A soft, flexible pouch worn inside the vagina during sex that acts as a barrier to sperm and STIs.
Vaginal ring: A small, flexible ring inserted into the vagina that releases hormones to prevent pregnancy, replaced monthly.

Avoiding STIs

If you don’t use protection when having sex, your chances of acquiring STIs are significantly higher. Unfortunately, STIs can do more damage than prevent further sexual intercourse. While some infections are curable with a short course of medication, others must be managed long-term and can have detrimental impacts on your health.

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is the most common bacterial STIs, often showing no symptoms at all. When symptoms do appear, they may include pain during sex, unusual discharge, or burning when urinating. It’s easily treated with antibiotics, but if left untreated, it can lead to serious complications like infertility.

Gonorrhoea

Gonorrhoea, sometimes called “the clap,” is a bacterial infection that can affect the genitals, rectum, and throat. Many people don’t notice symptoms, but it can cause pain when urinating and unusual discharge. It’s treatable with antibiotics, though drug-resistant strains are becoming more common.

Syphilis

Syphilis develops in stages, starting with a painless sore and progressing to rashes and potentially serious complications if untreated. It spreads through direct contact with these sores, which may be hidden inside the body. A single dose of penicillin usually clears the infection, especially when caught early.

Genital Herpes

Genital Herpes is caused by the Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV), which can be passed through skin-to-skin contact—even without symptoms. When outbreaks occur, they cause painful blisters or sores that can last for weeks. While there’s no cure, antiviral medication can help manage symptoms and reduce transmission. It’s common for HSV infections to be passed from mouth to genitals during oral sex.

HIV

HIV is a virus that attacks the immune system, making it harder for the body to fight off infections. If untreated, it can lead to AIDS, but modern treatments allow people with HIV to live long, healthy lives. Regular testing and medications like PrEP can help prevent transmission.

HPV (Human Papillomavirus)

HPV is the most common STI and includes many strains, some of which cause genital warts and others that can lead to cancer. Most people don’t show symptoms and clear the virus naturally, but high-risk types can be dangerous. Vaccination offers strong protection against the most harmful strains.

Trichomonas

A parasite causes Trichomonas and often affects women more than men, with symptoms like itching, discharge, and discomfort during sex. Many people don’t notice any symptoms, especially men. It’s easily treated with antibiotics, but untreated cases can lead to pregnancy complications.

Will sex hurt?

Some women believe that tearing the hymen – a thin membrane that covers the vagina – is to blame for the pain they experience during their first time. However, not everyone has a hymen, and even those who do may not rupture it during vaginal sex.

Other common reasons for pain or discomfort interfering with sexual pleasure include:

Inadequate lubrication
Anxiety, which can cause muscular spasms
A partner who is forceful

In order to be safe and enjoy the moment, you and your partner should communicate. Pain should be virtually non-existent during vaginal intercourse if you express your problems and work together to receive mutual enjoyment.

Many people assume that losing their virginity is unpleasant. However, this doesn’t have to be the case. The first time can be an enjoyable sexual experience if there is open communication, unambiguous consent, and continuous care for each other’s well-being.

Final thoughts

It’s natural to feel apprehensive about how to have sex for the first time. Anxiety is normal, but being with the appropriate partner in a comfortable setting and taking things gently will help.

If you have had sex for the first time and you are worried about STIs, get in touch with Better2Know today. Our dedicated team of Sexual Health Advisors are available on our 24/7 helpline. You can also book an STI test online by clicking the button below.