Patient Stories: Rick

Welcome to another instalment of Better2Know’s Patient Stories.

At Better2Know, we believe that sharing personal experiences can help break down the stigma many people feel around getting tested for STIs. We’ve gathered stories from people who have been tested to inspire and encourage others to take this important step for their sexual health.

Certain names and details in these stories have been altered.

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It’s important to protect your sexual health. Get tested at a sexual health clinic near you.

When he met the woman who would become his long-term partner, Rick realised he had some unfinished business to take care of.

A communications professional who’d worked in the NHS for almost ten years, Rick could recite the standard advice about caring for his health. But he didn’t take it all that seriously. Until he had to.

“I hadn’t necessarily thought about the potential risk of an STI after having unprotected sex with a couple of people,” Rick told Better2Know during a Zoom interview. Even over a video call where he was sitting down, you can tell Rick is very tall from the angle of the camera. He speaks with warmth and confidence, gesticulating with a speed that spoke to the depth of feeling when talking about his past. “I doubt a lot of people think about it in the moment. It’s probably just one of those things, you know?”

At 26, Rick’s first marriage broke down, and he spent the next five years single. He was the quintessential man-about-town in Manchester, haunting its dive bars and live music scene, sniffing out adventure with a purpose. He worked for several communications departments in NHS trusts around the city and also in Liverpool, editing an online magazine about punk music and running a local creative writing group.

“I think this was mainly…my own insecurities.”

But his bachelorhood ended when he met Hannah, a logistics manager from Germany who worked at a British pharmaceutical company. They met on a dating app and spent their first few dates going to screenings of Finnish films and gigs at the O2.

“It was pretty obvious. This was it,” Rick said. “When we saw La La Land together, I knew it was serious.”

It was this seriousness that made Rick do a double-take on his sexual history. “I [thought] ‘I’d better make sure I’m all clear because I really like this person’.”

Like a lot of people, the idea of having an STI hadn’t really entered Rick’s mind. When he was single and sexually active, Rick was always very careful to use protection. But a couple of encounters had always stuck with him – instances where he could’ve been safer than he was.

“I started looking into [getting tested] right away to find out what was out there, what was close to me, and what could be the most discreet,” he said. “I had a test within a week.”

He had to get over some personal hurdles when getting tested. When we asked Rick what got in the way, he was quite direct: “I think this was mainly…my own insecurities. I visited a clinic and felt embarrassed despite the fact that they were seeing a lot of people like me every day. I left when I reached the door once because I got scared. I came back a few days later and was glad I did.”

Like many people, he wondered why he’d waited as long as he had. Of course, a negative result helped.

“I felt massively relieved. It suddenly felt trivial, but I knew it was still important to have done it. It’s likely the best thing I’ve done that I can’t really talk about!”

His wobble around STIs occurred around seven years ago. Rick now lives in South Manchester with Hannah, his two sons, and his beagle. He was adamant that his life now was only possible because he took the time to get checked. “If something is niggling away at the back of your mind, trust your instinct. Even if it ends up being negative, you’ll be glad you did it.”

Don’t leave your sexual health to chance. Book an STI test with Better2Know today.

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