Infidelity is one of the hardest things to deal with. You may be left feeling like your life is a lie and that you cannot trust anyone. Whether it’s your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband, it is never going to be easy. There are several steps you can take to protect your mental and physical wellbeing during such a difficult time.


1. Never blame yourself

However easy it is to think that you have done something wrong, commitment is commitment. Whether you started an argument with your partner the week before or haven’t been feeling yourself recently, it was their choice to cheat on you. Don’t push the blame onto yourself; realise that they are the only one in control of their behaviour.

2. Don’t hide your emotions

Your first instinct may be to cry and hide under the duvet. This is normal – you should give yourself time to come to terms with the situation. Remember that ranting on social media is not the answer. Speak to a close friend or family member about what you are going through. Scream, shout and let it all out.

3. Take care of yourself

You may not feel like getting out of bed for the first few days, weeks or months, but don’t let your daily life fall apart. If exercise will help to clear your mind, go on a run or to the gym. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and eating well. Little steps like this are likely to improve your mood and keep your life on track.

4. Decide on a plan

Never make any crucial decisions without having some time to think clearly. Irrational thoughts may have led to this situation in the first place – maybe your partner did something in the spur of the moment. When you feel ready, have a conversation with your partner about the situation, what has happened, and why? Focus on moving forward, whatever the outcome may be.

5. Protect your health

If you suspect that your partner has slept with someone else, whether once or on numerous occasions, you should consider getting an STI test. This way you can make sure that no harmful infections have been passed onto you. One less thing to worry about and an important step to ensure that your physical health is not at risk. Speak to our sexual health advisors in confidence if you are worried about your sexual health.


[1] Psychology Today: Your Partner Cheated – Now What?

[2] She Knows: 12 Things to Do After You Find Out Your Partner Has Cheated

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