Patient Stories: Evin

Welcome to another instalment of Better2Know’s Patient Stories.

At Better2Know, we believe that sharing personal experiences can help break down the stigma many people feel around getting tested for STIs. We’ve gathered stories from people who have gotten tested to inspire and encourage others to take this important step for their sexual health.

Certain names and details in these stories have been altered.

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Your sexual health is important. Get tested with Better2Know’s Full STI Screen.

When Evin met Rose, he didn’t expect to get the shock of the year. Like many young adults, Evin was navigating the dating scene in Bristol in the late 2010s when a Tinder date turned into an emotional conflagration.

“Looking back, it sounds silly,” Evin told Better2Know over a video call. “But I was really scared. More scared than maybe I should’ve been. An anxiety just took hold of me. I couldn’t think about anything else for days.”

In 2018, Evin shared a flat in Bedminster with three friends and worked in marketing for a collections agency in the city centre. He’d moved to the city for university, getting a history degree at the University of Bristol, but found himself listless and perusing Bristol’s nightlife. Most of his dates came from his weekly meetings at a local board game shop where he’d play Magic: The Gathering.

“I liked being single, I think. It was exciting. You never know who you’re going to meet, what’s going to happen. I put myself out there a lot. Sometimes, I may have let things go too far too soon.”

Evin, now 32, is short with a huge mane of bleached blonde hair, with features so round that he looks much younger than he is. He speaks softly but quickly, like he’s trying to get something out without being overheard.

“I remember thinking she had beautiful hair. I could tell from her pictures that she liked to do cosplay for conventions. Comic book stuff. She seemed just my type.”

Even though she lived in Cardiff and I lived in Bristol, both of us went out of our way to travel. I liked her and I’m pretty sure she liked me, too. We became close very quickly.

Evin met Rose over the dating app Tinder, taking advantage of the app’s “superlike” function to seal the deal on a chat. After a few days of texting, they met for a first date in Cardiff.

“Even though she lived in Cardiff and I lived in Bristol, both of us went out of our way to travel. I liked her and I’m pretty sure she liked me, too. We became close very quickly.”

From there, things progressed pretty fast. After a few days, they decided to get intimate. But the highs of this new relationship made Evin think twice about what happened.

“We’d had sex a couple of times without a condom. I didn’t think much of it then, but a couple of days later, it started to play in my mind. I realised I didn’t know this person very well at all. We never talked about protection, whether we had anything. I started to get scared that I’d caught something.”

Evin didn’t wait – he acted quickly. “A few days after I became concerned, I ordered a test online. Nothing held me back. Rose went on holiday that week, so it felt like a good time to get checked, just in case.”

Unlike a lot of people, he didn’t come up against any barriers to getting tested. He just went online and ordered a testing kit. “The test I ordered was pretty discreetly packaged, and the samples were easy to take. I did worry how accurate a home test can be, but I looked into it and I know now that they’re pretty reliable.”

After a few days, the results came in. He was negative.

“I mostly felt relieved, but I also felt a bit guilty for not using protection when I should’ve. It was really irresponsible. After I got the result, I talked to Rose about it. Since we weren’t exclusive, I wanted us to use condoms from then on. I just thought it would be safer. She agreed, but things soured between us after that. She didn’t text or call me as often. The next month, we decided to go our separate ways.”

We asked Evin why he thought that was.

“I’m not entirely sure. Maybe it was a lack of communication. I think the fact that I got tested before talking to her gave her a bad impression.”

Evin doesn’t regret the experience, though. It taught him to be more careful. “I just think, shoot, I should’ve been safer. I never really thought about it before then. Now, I’m getting regular checks every few months just to be safe.”

He said his perspective on STIs has changed for the better. He was pretty straightforward when we asked him what he’d tell someone who was thinking about getting tested. “From what I’ve learned, getting an STI isn’t a big deal. It’s leaving it untreated that causes harm. If you know you have it, you can do something about it.”

When we asked him if he was still on Tinder, he chuckles.

“Thought I’d give real life a go for a bit.”

Don’t leave your sexual health to chance. Book an STI test at a sexual health clinic near you.

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